I was reading this article on the Wall Street Journal about potential reasons why moms and dads not only allow their young girls to dress provocatively, but they pay for the clothes as well.
It’s really interesting the different theories posited by the article. First, is that it is a bonding thing between mother and daughter, since the mothers did so when they were young.Second is that they don’t know how to teach their daughters how not to do that and that they feel like they’re setting double standards when they acted like that to then tell their daughters not to.
I agree with the second theory more than the first, but I think I also have my own theory, that’s sort of tied up in the second theory, but not quite. It’s more that women have been fed this message so long that it’s empowering to sleep around and to dress sexily and everything like that and even though many moms feel bad about it now, I still think somewhere in their subconscious is the idea that they want their daughter to be liberated and empowered.
But you know what? It’s not liberating and empowering. It’s letting a man make an object out of you sexually and thinking it’s for your benefit. I think that the over-sexualization and hyper-sexualization of women is not for the benefit of women but for the benefit of man. Think about it – in the past, if a man wanted to have sex he had two options – pay for and sleep with a prostitute or wait until he was married and have sex with his wife. Now, he can have with a lot of women whenever he wants, pretty consequence free. Sure, he might have to worry about STDs, but there’s no obligation for him to stick around if the woman gets pregnant.
I don’t know if I’m making sense of if you agree or even quite where I was going with this. I just think that telling everyone they can have sex all the time is not empowering. To me, it’s empowering to have the self-control not to sleep around and the trust that waiting will bring me something better. And you know what? Now that I’m married and have had sex, I realized that if I had had it before I married I would be a broken person, because that’s an amazing connection and it would break me in so many ways to have that with many different people – to have it with people and then to have them leave me. I couldn’t handle that. And I recognize I couldn’t handle that.
Sorry to get into an area that you probably didn’t want to hear about but I think that waiting for sex should be the norm and it should be that way because sex is something beautiful and special. It’s not empowering to me to give away something special to everyone, but it is to save that something special for a special person.
So thoughts, did I just ignite a firestorm? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
“Sex is the most powerful thing there is, and our generation, what did we know?” – From the article linked above